Have you ever been “side-swiped” by an event or situation that rocked your world? How did you handle it? Did you know that there is a positive purpose for it?  Yes, really!

Whenever an event or situation happens that is not keeping with how we “planned” or “thought” it would be, our emotions can take off, often blaming others, seeing life as not fair, or just sit back and complain.

In life, everyone deals with unpleasant circumstances and some that may even seem to be devastating.  The problem with these situations is that we often do not understand the purpose, or what can be gained from them.

Believe it or not, these events do have a purpose.  What exactly it is, is dependent on the individual.  Some of the purposes can be:

• • • A redirection in your life
    • Meeting people who will be influential in your future.
    • A chance to learn something about yourself or others, and hence grow from the experience, or
    • Opportunity

For example, losing a job can be to put you in another environment where you will thrive, a career change, or it could be to help you learn how to respect yourself.  These are just a few of the endless possibilities that losing a job could be about.

To understand a situations’ purpose entails sitting back in a nonjudgmental state, and observing your life and the situation.  At times the reason will be quite obvious and at other times you won’t understand the purpose until later when other events unfold.  Many times, we have made the situation bigger than it is. By stepping back in a detached manner, allows the event to be put into proper perspective.

So, what can you do?

• • • Accept what has happened.
    • Take a deep breath, observe the circumstances in a detached, nonjudgmental way.
    • Avoid blaming others.
    • Make choices based on what your heart wants for the future.
    • Choose your focus. Is it struggle or is it where you are going?
    • Look at what can you learn from it, change and grow.
    • Share your experience. Others benefit from how you handled it.

One of the keys to working with an unfortunate situation is to accept what has happened. Acceptance helps put things into perspective and also allows you to move forward.  Holding onto what “might have been” or “should have been”, will only prolong your agony.

You also want to avoid playing the blame game as this is many times our first reaction. However, there is a saying, that when we point a finger at someone, we have three fingers pointing back at ourselves!  This one little change in perception can help immensely in how you look at the picture (We often forget that we played a part in these situations!).

To move forward from any upset, it is important to focus on the future you want. Let go of the past and build your future from what it is that your heart truly wants. Keeping your heart’s desire at the forefront helps to shape your future in a positive manner.

These situations which seem impossible, often offer ways for us to grow and change. It’s not always easy but the results are almost always worth it.  Remember, it’s life’s experiences that shape us into who we are.

Sharing your experiences is one way of working with these situations. In most cases, you will find that you are not alone in your emotions and feelings and you may find answers to your situation and also help others. Take a look at the Me Too movement. By sharing their experiences, people found out that they were not alone. By discussing and bringing things forward, it allows for change to happen.  This just may be where your purpose lies.

Emotions associated with unfortunate situations are very real and we need to feel them.  However, living with anger, hurt or sadness can destroy you if you hold onto them. The emotions of pain, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, shock and denial are all part of working with a bad situation. Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t stay there. These emotions can harm you when you don’t find ways to release them. Seek help if you find that these emotions are consuming you.

Remember that life goes on and you have many opportunities ahead!

 

Featured Image by James Lansbury on Unsplash.com